Paul Newman starred in my favorite movie of all time - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. He was beyond cool, and remained so until the day he died. But donating over 250 million dollars to charities is no doubt the legacy for which he would want to be most remembered. Included in his charitable work was, and continues to be, the wonderful Hole In the Wall Gang camps, founded by Paul in 1998. These amazing camps, operating all over the world, allow children with serious illnesses to enjoy the beauty of childhood. As stated on the official website of the Hole in the Wall Gang...
"They (the camps) all share a common mission, which is to build self-esteem and restore joy to children who suffer from serious illnesses."
To everyone who donates their time and money to selflessness and charitable pursuits, here's a tip of the hat, and endless admiration, to all the Paul Newman's of the world.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Good, Bad, and the Ugly
In order, of course, as per the title........
1. Jerry Seinfeld, Donald Trump, Donald Trump.
2. Bill Gates, Ellen DeShutthehellup, Joan Rivers.
3. David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Larry King.
4. Bob Dylan, Celine Diondong, Steve Tyler.
5. Baseball, Soccer, Cricket.
6. Proper grammar, Bad grammar, You's.
7. Stewie, Brian Mulroney, Ben Mulroney.
8. Robert DeNiro, Keanu Reeves, Carrot Top.
9. Summer, Winter, Sudbury.
10. Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, Randy Johnson.
11. Traveling Wilbury's, Spice Girls, Kid Rock.
12. Dexter, Survivor, Dancing with the Idiots.
13. Clint Eastwood, Chuck Norris, Clay Aiken.
14. Ernie Harwell, Ken Harrelson, Ken Harrelson.
15. A Hard Day's Night, Pauly Shore movies, Dr. Phil.
16. Detroit Tigers home uniforms, Buffalo Sabres slug jersey, the doofus who puts his own name on his personal jersey.
17. Open-air stadiums, astroturf, Rogers Centre.
18. A well-constructed sentence, Repetition repetition, Speling erors.
19. Sex, No sex, Sex with Rosie O'Donnell.
20. Bruce Springsteen, Rick Springfield, Jerry Springer.
1. Jerry Seinfeld, Donald Trump, Donald Trump.
2. Bill Gates, Ellen DeShutthehellup, Joan Rivers.
3. David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Larry King.
4. Bob Dylan, Celine Diondong, Steve Tyler.
5. Baseball, Soccer, Cricket.
6. Proper grammar, Bad grammar, You's.
7. Stewie, Brian Mulroney, Ben Mulroney.
8. Robert DeNiro, Keanu Reeves, Carrot Top.
9. Summer, Winter, Sudbury.
10. Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, Randy Johnson.
11. Traveling Wilbury's, Spice Girls, Kid Rock.
12. Dexter, Survivor, Dancing with the Idiots.
13. Clint Eastwood, Chuck Norris, Clay Aiken.
14. Ernie Harwell, Ken Harrelson, Ken Harrelson.
15. A Hard Day's Night, Pauly Shore movies, Dr. Phil.
16. Detroit Tigers home uniforms, Buffalo Sabres slug jersey, the doofus who puts his own name on his personal jersey.
17. Open-air stadiums, astroturf, Rogers Centre.
18. A well-constructed sentence, Repetition repetition, Speling erors.
19. Sex, No sex, Sex with Rosie O'Donnell.
20. Bruce Springsteen, Rick Springfield, Jerry Springer.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Pee Pee Pain
It's always a real hoot to sit back and watch someone else squirm. Squirm, as in, holding "it" in, until an available rest stop makes an appearance.
Of course we're talking about having to go potty without the pot. And if you are in a jeep full of man-children, it's a real blast, providing you are not the unfortunate sap whose eyes are beginning to turn yellow.
Recently, I was lucky enough NOT be on the receiving end of this knee-squeezing horror. I was also even luckier to be driving. Meaning that a friend of mine......let's call him Bill (since that's his name), was at my mercy. And who doesn't enjoy watching a good friend turn inside out while his weenie begins to feel like Mount Vesuvius? Exactly. Nobody.
When the begging crossed the line from amusing to desperation, I exited the 401, and found a car pool. "Is this o.k.?" I asked. "ANYWHERE IS O.K. YOU ASS!!!", Bill screamed. Well, I thought that was kind of funny, so I thought driving around the parking lot might be worth a chuckle or two. And it sure was. Everybody really thought that was funny. Except Bill of course, whose body was convulsing.
On the fourth time around the car pool, I thought I should probably stop, and increase my odds for living. I considered a fifth trip around (just for the nostalgia), but i thought the chances of Bill peeing on me might be pretty good, so i scrapped that idea. So out the door Bill leapt, out came Mr. Wee Wee, and so began a flood that brought Noah's ark to mind. The sound of that kind of pent up misery hitting pavement is deafening. And naturally, damn funny. Well, of course Bill didn't think it was that funny. When he emptied the tank ten minutes later, next to a very unlucky shiny Porsche, we were all happy (except the Porsche of course, which could be seen floating towards a nearby cornfield).
It's true. Suffering can be fun. Providing you are driving and your pal has a gyser in his pants.
Of course we're talking about having to go potty without the pot. And if you are in a jeep full of man-children, it's a real blast, providing you are not the unfortunate sap whose eyes are beginning to turn yellow.
Recently, I was lucky enough NOT be on the receiving end of this knee-squeezing horror. I was also even luckier to be driving. Meaning that a friend of mine......let's call him Bill (since that's his name), was at my mercy. And who doesn't enjoy watching a good friend turn inside out while his weenie begins to feel like Mount Vesuvius? Exactly. Nobody.
When the begging crossed the line from amusing to desperation, I exited the 401, and found a car pool. "Is this o.k.?" I asked. "ANYWHERE IS O.K. YOU ASS!!!", Bill screamed. Well, I thought that was kind of funny, so I thought driving around the parking lot might be worth a chuckle or two. And it sure was. Everybody really thought that was funny. Except Bill of course, whose body was convulsing.
On the fourth time around the car pool, I thought I should probably stop, and increase my odds for living. I considered a fifth trip around (just for the nostalgia), but i thought the chances of Bill peeing on me might be pretty good, so i scrapped that idea. So out the door Bill leapt, out came Mr. Wee Wee, and so began a flood that brought Noah's ark to mind. The sound of that kind of pent up misery hitting pavement is deafening. And naturally, damn funny. Well, of course Bill didn't think it was that funny. When he emptied the tank ten minutes later, next to a very unlucky shiny Porsche, we were all happy (except the Porsche of course, which could be seen floating towards a nearby cornfield).
It's true. Suffering can be fun. Providing you are driving and your pal has a gyser in his pants.
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